'Faux Pas' to avoid at the gym this Summer

It's officially Summer. Therefore everyone who signed up for 12 months gym membership in January as a new year's resolution (but gave up on January 2nd) is now back, desperate to be able to reveal more of themselves in public without fear of embarassment. For a regular gym user like myself this is incredibly frustrating, as 'peak time' now equates to 'a queue for the bench press'. So what this means is that I'm actually paying more for my membership to go at a time when there's too many man.


Aside from the gym being virtually unusable, the worst part is what people are actually doing/wearing while they think they'll look like Lou Ferrigno after a couple of weeks. I have no doubts that you will see this type of behaviour in pretty much any gym in the country right now, and if you are doing any of the following things then please STOP!

GRUNTING! ARGH!

A little noise is ok - you should be working hard after all. However, it is never acceptable to sound like the guy in this video, unless you are Ronnie Coleman/challenging for Mr. Olympia. The worst part is, most of the guys who make the most noise are actually lifting the least amount of weight. It's pathetic.

Wearing football shirts

In theory there shouldn't be anything wrong with this: you're wearing something that has been designed for athletic use. However, it just looks wrong. I chose this particular shirt because someone in my gym wears it. Even if you are relatively strong, it just ruins any perception of 'hardness' as football is not a sport associated with machismo. If you're going to wear a sports shirt, make it either rugby or basketball (to show off the 'guns').

Lifting more than you can realistically manage

I see this going on way too much - guys using their whole body to bicep-curl a 20kg dumbbell when they would struggle to do 10kgs. Not only does it look bad, but you won't see any benefit from it and you risk serious injury as well. There is no shame in starting low - we all have to start somewhere after all. 

Socialising

The gym, much like a library, is a place of work. Not only will socialising distract you from your workout, but you'll most likely be taking up valuable time on machines that other people want to use. The only time it's acceptable is before/afterwards OR if you are on bikes/treadmills next to eachother. That also goes for using your phone excessively. FOCUS!

Wearing too little

If you're female, please ignore this - less is more. However, I have been prithy to guys who may as well have been naked while they workout. I do NOT pay £60 a month to have to look at other guys junk. That especially goes for the changing rooms as well - towels/clothes are there for a reason! 

Michael McIntyre knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about;

If you see anyone doing these horrendous things in a gym, I encourage you to shake your fist at them in disgust.

Birdies and Bogeys: Style guide to US PGA Open Championship 2012

Before I get into this article, I have to come clean: I know absolutely nothing about golf... other than what I learnt from playing a Tiger Woods video game back in my student days, so please don't take offence to what I'm about to write. Personally, I don't understand sports where you don't run, sweat or experience some sort of pain afterwards. Having said that, I'm no one to argue against millions of fans and hundreds of years of tradition (I'm also rubbish at golf and jealous of people that have good hand eye co-ordination, but that's besides the point).

Golf is one of the only sports in which you wear casual clothes and most of your attire provides little to no function in relation to the sport. On the other hand, it's important to wear loose, comfortable clothes that won't interfere with the swing, and there are still certain rules that need to be adhered to (i.e. you can't wear shoes like this...). Trousers are a must, and players will also wear either a polo shirt and/or sweater combination, with or without cap. 

With that in mind, you would think that it would be easy to get the required style right... 

OK so you can't completely blame a golfer for getting it 'wrong', as they all have sponsorship contracts that require them to promote the work of their respective brands. Nonetheless, there is definitely a choice element in what they're wearing, which has lead to the basis of this blog post. 

If, like me, you don't know your 'eagles' from your 'albatrosses', then here is my (very complicated) key to the following: a Birdie is apparently quite good in golf, hence this is how I describe my approval of that particular golfer's style. A Bogey is, quite appropriately, not desirable in golf, hence this will serve the opposite purpose...

Birdie

Martin Kaymer

A former world number one and only the second German to ever win a major tournament, this man is no stranger to an 'iron'. I really like his Hugo Boss polo shirt with the subtle emblem on the back (I also think Hugo Boss is a lot cooler than your run-of-the-mill sports brands like Nike). In almost any other situation, I would say that a white belt is one of the worst accessories you could wear. However, he makes it work with matching cap and glove, and you can't go wrong with a pair of navy chinos.

Bogey

Miguel Jimenez

I'm not going to criticise the man for his weight, he is playing a sport without much of a cardiovascular benefit after all. I think that pink is a dangerous colour to wear, difficult for any man to get right - your skin tone and the shade of pink are all things that need to be taken into consideration. On this occasion though, he definitely deserves his Bogey, as his risk of wearing pink has not paid off. Kudos on the cigar though... 

Birdie

Matteo Manessero

One of the youngest golfers out there, this 19 year old Italian looks great while he breaks records (youngest winner of the British Amateur Championship, youngest player to play at the Masters Tournament, youngest winner on the European tour). The chinos, shoes and belt are all on point, his cap, glove, polo shirt and shoes all match, and his polo shirt has a nice horizontal stripe pattern. Good job.

Bogey

Ian Poulter

Probably the most predictable Bogey on the list, Ian Poulter has a long-standing reputation for being the most eccentrically dressed golfers of all time. He was once widely criticised for wearing an Arsenal shirt for the duration of a golf tournament (however, as a gooner, I commend him for doing this!). It lead to the rules being changed so that this could never happen again (evidently they were Spurs fans...). I don't have any issue with the top half of what he's wearing, but the trousers look like pyjamas that your mum would buy you, and the shoes don't do him any favours either. If you disagree with the above, you can actually mimic his style in it's entirety, as most of what he wears has his own stylistic input and is available to buy through his website... 

Birdie

Webb Simpson

The winner of this year's tournament - this man has championed his swing, as well as his style. A white Titleist cap seems to go with pretty much any golf outfit, but he must be commended on his choice of chinos, belt and polo shirt. I really like the shade of his chinos, and his canvas belt looks great in my opinion. Webb has made the classic golf look effortless, and all up and coming golfers can learn a lot from the American champ. 

DOUBLE BOGEY!!!

Phil Mickelson & Tiger Woods

I very nearly didn't include this last section as I know how loved and respected 'Tiger' is all over the world (so much so that I'm half expecting a barrage of social-media related hatred...). I'm also aware of Phil Mickelson having a large following too, so it was perhaps a risk on my part, but for better or for worse everyone has an opinion... Let's start with 'big Phil'. It's great to have sponsors, but is it really necessary to be sponsored by both KPMG AND Barclays and display BOTH of these on your attire? Is it not also contradictory to be sponsored by two rival financial institutions? He looks like a retired accountant! Not only that, he's dressed entirely in black, without any contrast and style whatsoever. 

This brings me on to Tiger Woods. Normally he gets it right in major tournaments, and if it wasn't for his grey sweater then his outfit would probably be perfectly acceptable. However, he has worn the grey sweater, which has left him with a grey on grey situation, which in my opinion looks absolutely dire. Grey has to be the most boring colour out there, (of which Tiger is anything but...) and I doubt even David Gandy could pull off such an atrocious look. Unfortunately for these two though, they couldn't match a certain Webb Simpson in either style or substance. Better luck next year boys...

Top 5 Kits at Euro 2012

It's safe to say that a big talking point in sport at the moment is Euro 2012 in Poland/Ukraine. Regardless of whether you have any interest in football, you will most likely be aware of it's existence (unless, apparently, you're an Iranian woman...) Despite the endless reams of journalistic speculation on the tournament winners and England's lack of ability, I'm yet to see anything written about the kits at this year's competition. I propose the following hypothetical question: Maybe those that look the best will play the best...?


We've seen some vomit-worthy 'colourful' kits from our European neighbours in the past, such as this Adidas number from Holland's Euro winning 1988 team:

Or the German version of the same shirt design:

With that in mind, let's see if 20 years on there has been any improvement...















#5 - England's away kit

If we've learnt anything from the past, it's that the simplicity of the shirt design is of paramount importance to not looking like a mug. Here they've gone for a simple, old-fashioned light blue collar, with a plain, dark blue shirt and a matching light blue number on the chest. It is decidedly 'no thrills' (much like England's style of football), but I like it. Although I would quite like to see where the blue is on the St. George's cross...







#4 - Poland's home kit

By contrast, a kit that actually represents a team's national colours... I like the layout of the three logos at the top of the shirt, and they've even managed to fit in a number in the middle block without making the shirt look cluttered. If their football can live up to the organisation of their shirt, then they're in with a chance of doing well...







#3 - Spain's home kit

Okay so it's hardly groundbreaking, and we have barely seen the Spain kit change at all in the last 20 years, but their 'if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it' approach is refreshing. It also means that fans who bought a Spain shirt 10 years ago (that they can still fit into...) won't look out of place now amongst more up-to-date fans. The fact that they have won the last two major tournaments might also play a part in their desire to stick to a winning formula.







#2 - Holland's away kit

Football's answer to rugby's 'All Blacks', this team has a similar reputation as one of the world's best (okay so I know they normally play in orange...). With this kit they'll be looking as slick as their attacking play, sporting a minimalist design with a subtle splash of their signature orange. If they are to win this tournament, then undoubtedly they will do so in some style.







#1 - France's home kit

In the wise words of French legend Thierry Henry, this shirt most definitely has 'Va Va Voom'. It might not be spectacular, but they've styled the shirt in subtle ways to give them the best possible chance of becoming les champions. The horizontal dark stripes running down the shirt and sleeves will appear to broaden the players chests, making them seem impossibly intimidating to their opponents. The all-important finishing touch is the golden contrast on the crest and squad numbers. Gold is the colour of winners, which this writer is predicting as the most likely outcome for the ultra-stylish French...